


Clara and the TARDIS: Seven Nights Later

by TheSaddleman



Series: Time Bomb Continuity [4]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Jealousy, No Angst, Slight suggestiveness, Spoilers for minisode Clara and the TARDIS, one swear word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 03:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6836389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSaddleman/pseuds/TheSaddleman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A week after the events of "Clara and the TARDIS", the Doctor finally returns to find a very grumpy and tired Clara ready to tell him about the ship's little practical joke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clara and the TARDIS: Seven Nights Later

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Steven Moffat's 2013 mini-episode "Clara and the TARDIS" and suggests what might have happened when the Doctor eventually returned to the TARDIS after Clara experienced the little "practical joke" depicted in the minisode.
> 
> I consider this to exist in the same continuity as my longer piece "Time Bomb" and the reason for the Doctor's absence ties in with what is mentioned in the other story. In terms of the TV series, I'm placing this prior to the events of "The Crimson Horror". (Edit: I have revised the story slightly to remove a continuity error related to Strax.)
> 
> This story does not have very adult content, save for a bit of suggestiveness towards the end ... oh, and a single bit of swearing that arrives in 4...3...2...

“You son of a bitch.”

If the Doctor’s bow tie could have wilted, it would have. It was rare for Clara to swear at him. Actually, she’d _never_ actually sworn at him before. He put down his knapsack and oversized blue butterfly net on the deck of the TARDIS and gaped back at her.

“What did I do?” he asked with a look of honest confusion that emphasized his paradoxically young features.

“You told me one night. Just one night,” Clara seethed as he slunk his way to the console. The Doctor started to notice how her hair was ragged, her eyebrows slightly more wild-looking than usual, and the bags under her eyes gave her an adorable raccoon-like appearance … which seemed to match her temper at this moment. “You were gone a week!”

“Sorry about that. Riddell and I were in pursuit of a rare white tiger — just for observation, you understand — and time just ran away with us.”

Riddell was a big-game hunter the Doctor had known for years, and who shared in the occasional adventure. Clara actually met him once with the Doctor. She thought he was an ass.

“Do you have any idea what happened to me during that week?”

“I thought you might enjoy camping out in the TARDIS. I know you fell in love with my library, and I had the TARDIS wrangle up a fully appointed spa complete with a hardlight hologram masseuse programmed to look like either David or Victoria Beckham, depending on your mood.”

Clara stopped short at that. “Really?” She shook her head. “Well I might have had a chance to enjoy it if I wasn’t kept awake for the whole week by this cow of a spaceship!”

“Clara!” The Doctor scoffed. “Now, I’ve told you before about insulting her. What did she do to you…” he nearly finished with “this time,” but cut himself off.

“Nothing. I just wanted to go to bed. I’d spent the day exploring the library, my eyes were tired, so I decided to turn in. I went to brush my teeth and found a hologram leopard stalking me in the bathroom!”

The Doctor stifled a chuckle. He’d meant to tell her about the TARDIS’ habit of hazing companions the first time they spent the night on board. The leopard was a classic, dating back to Leela, though it had backfired on that occasion as she’d enjoyed the experience immensely. He never did find out what had been done to Rose, except she looked at him funny for a week afterwards.

Even though they’d been sharing adventures for the better part of a year by this point, Clara had yet to actually become a “live-in” companion, preferring to keep herself grounded to her job as Angie and Artie Maitland's nanny. Even though they could have travelled for years, yet have Clara return five minutes after she last left Earth, Clara said she was concerned about the kids’ curiosity and it was hard enough to explain away sudden suntans and the like (she’d actually had to hurriedly take out a membership at a tanning salon and pay a little extra to get the owner to agree to tell the kids she was a regular).

“Just call that a rite of passage,” the Doctor said.

“Rite of passage. OK, so does this ‘rite of passage’ include making my damn bedroom disappear?”

The Doctor frowned. “OK, that wasn’t very nice.”

“No, it wasn’t. But OK, OK, maybe I had it coming. The TARDIS and me, we haven’t seen eye to whatever-she-uses-for-eyes, so OK, ha-ha funny,” Clara said. “Actually, we had a very nice girl-to-ship conversation that first night.”

“Really? About what?”

“Guess.”

“Quantum mechanics? The 1920 Wimbledon finals? What happens to Han Solo in _Star Wars VII_?”

“ _Star Wars VII_?”

“Whoops! Ignore that one for a few years. Spoilers and all that.”

“No, we talked about you.”

The Doctor blushed and straightened his bow tie. “Nice things, I _owwww!_ ”

That was due to the rapidly blossoming bruise on his bicep from where Clara had just pounded him.

“Why didn’t you tell me about them?”

“About who … whom?” But already the Doctor was getting the sneaking suspicion he knew who … whom. The TARDIS had done this once before with Amy.

“All the others you’ve shacked up with.”

“Clara, I’m 900-odd years old…”

“Which means you’ve had plenty of time.”

“No, you don’t understand. It just means I’ve had plenty of friends. And I bet she only showed you the women, too — isn’t that right?” That last bit was actually addressed to the TARDIS. “I’ve also travelled with a number of male companions.”

Clara sniffed. “Uh, OK, nothing wrong with that.”

“And a tin dog.”

“Do I really want to know?”

The Doctor gaped at her. “No, no, he was just a trusty A.I. shaped like a dog who played a mean game of chess and helped me with the Times Crossword now and again. Leela and Romana just adored him. I remember one time Romana and I had just been to Paris...”

“You aren't doing yourself any favours.” Clara had her arms crossed.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you were jealous. Why would you be jealous?”

“Oh, I don’t know — maybe it’s because I don’t want to be just another notch on your console?”

That seemed to go over the Doctor’s head. “When you travel through time for centuries, you don’t just get lonely, Clara — you get jaded. I enjoy the universe now when I get to see it through the eyes of my companions. Do you have any idea how many times I’d been to Akhaten? A lot. But to see the look in your eyes when you saw the rings … it was like I was there for the first time.”

Clara looked down, starting to feel a little guilty.

The Doctor continued. “And I admit it. I enjoy showing off, showing how I get out of scrapes, making you laugh.” He paused for a moment, his eyes locking with hers. “I never know when, I only know who. Yes, I’ve travelled with many — but I’m travelling with you now. And we can travel for as long as you’re willing.”

Clara smiled and gave the Doctor a hug. The Doctor patted her on the back and pulled away. “Oh, by the way, the one with the legs … she was my mother-in-law.”

“Your _what?_ ” The image of the short-skirted redhead had made a particular impression. Clara was actually quite pleased with her looks, sometimes bordering on vanity, and if pressed might have admitted to dressing up for the Doctor on more than one occasion. But, unless she found herself possessed by some shape-changing alien down the line, she was doubtful her five-foot-one(ish) stature would change anytime soon.

“Uh ... did you ever get your room back?” The Doctor changed the topic.

Clara had almost forgotten the most bizarre part of the story. She told the Doctor how the TARDIS had created a time-loop and she ran into a version of herself from the next night, and the night after that, and then six hours, three hours, ninety minutes later … it wasn’t long before the console room had been filled with Claras. Evidently, the TARDIS found it far more enjoyable to mess with Clara this way, so she did allow some of the Claras access to a bedroom, leading to one bizarre situation where two of her ended up sleeping in the same bed.

The Doctor nearly choked when she told him that part.

“T-two Claras? Same bed?”

“That actually wasn’t bad. I found out I, uh, give great backrubs.” Clara couldn’t look the Doctor in the eye with that one. Some details she’d better keep to herself.

“I’m sorry you went through all of that,” the Doctor said with genuine regret.

“That’s OK. You can make it up to me by taking me somewhere special — somewhere with a luxurious bedroom that won’t run away or spawn duplicates of me or hologram leopards.”

“I know just the place. Fancy a trip to Versailles? King Louis owes me a favour.”

**Author's Note:**

> It might be a bit too subtle, but the bit about Clara being taken over by an alien and growing is a nod to the Titan Comics storyline "The Swords of Kali".
> 
> Riddell is a character introduced in Chris Chibnall's 2012 episode "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship."
> 
> Amy was given the "Doctor's black book" slide show in the 2010 made-for-DVD minisode "Meanwhile in the TARDIS."
> 
> There is some debate over story dating, but as "Name of the Doctor" places Clara in early 2013 at this point, I went with that, hence the notion that Star Wars VII is still a long way from coming out.
> 
> I placed this story before "The Crimson Horror" as at this point Angie and Artie Maitland haven't yet found the smoking gun to Clara's adventures, as seen at the end of that episode. But I wanted to establish that they had been investigating, as a bit of a minor fix-it for their sudden discovery at the end of "Crimson".
> 
> Edit: This story was edited on May 13 to remove a continuity error. I'd originally had a line about Strax scanning Clara's memory, referring to an event that takes place in Deep Breath, which of course hasn't happened yet to Clara. Oops!


End file.
